I'm Really Sorry Skip But (Excuses, Excuses)
1. Long standing hairdressers appointment (Bloke- now has sensible, short hair).
2. Powerboat lesson.
3. Powerboat show (not same player as above).
4. Billy Elliott performance. (on the day West Herts played READING in the Cup! ex- 1st team skipper!)
5. Having a tattoo finished.
6. I've got to buy an engagement ring that Saturday.
7. The garage lost my car!
8. SKIING (THIS ONE REALLY IRKS ME).
9. Driving test (allowable if player goes on to drive to long away game where skipper has arranged pub stop on return route.
10. Looking at a car (allowable with the same conditions as above)
11. Buying a car (again allowable with above conditions)
12. I don't really do benching, I'm going to go home...(a modern classic)
13. I'm doing my tax return.
14. I'm going to a matinee performance of Lord of the Rings (My currentNo. 1) (former 1st team skipper and midfield hard man)
15. My parents want to go to a museum.
16. I'm having a surprise birthday party (How can it be a surprise then...?!)
17. Going to the boat show (Not powerboats).
18. I'm in Paris with my girlfriend for our first anniversary (A schoolboy!)
19. Organising an indoor sports day.
20. Extreme Sports weekend in Ireland (inc. Deep sea fishing!)
21. I won't be able to play on Saturday because I stood barefoot on a ring binder and it's gone quite deep into my foot. (The first of the 2009/10 season)
22. I'm moving house, and the removers don't work on a Sunday.
23. I'm taking my girlfriend skiing, in Milton Keynes.
24. I'm off to Salisbury to spend the weekend P***ed up on rough cider (committee member)
25. I've cut my hand in the washing up bowl.
26. I'm going paintballing.
27. I'm going on a two week sailing course (sailing!?!?!?)
28. Hamster/cat/grandmother died (This particular player was so careless with his pets/relatives that they always seemed to die when the 1st XI was "coincidentally" playing away in East Anglia somewhere.
29. I have to supervise the activities at my younger sister's party.
30. I'm going up to London to take photos of steam trains.
31.I'm going to a friend's wedding in Ireland, and I don't even want to go. (Men's 1s skipper)
32. I'm taking my children to Disneyland.